Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

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I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Is the Donald Trump Bible any different from a regular Bible? Has Trump altered its contents?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

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I have complete contempt for fakery

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Why do some people admire Latin American cultures but not want to be from or live in those countries?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

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I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

How often do you watch the news on TV?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Why can’t the British eat or drink anything unless they place a table cloth on the table first?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Which Bibles can one read and be confident they are reading the inerrant word of God?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know who the president of Turkey really is

What do teens do at night?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I can count

I understand how hurricane paths work

Why does a lot of the YouTube community support the MGTOW movement?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I can read